


I Fall into an Ocean of You, Pull Me Out in Time

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-20 12:26:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2428697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“A day will never come when you cease to fascinate me.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Fall into an Ocean of You, Pull Me Out in Time

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from the Bic Runga song, _Sway_ , a longtime song of this pairing.

He sat down in the chair and took a deep breath. He’d been standing up, watching her, but that was creepy so he sat down. It had been a long evening and night so he was surprised to find her sound asleep. It had to be exhaustion more than anything else…they were all exhausted. The BAU had been in Joliet, Illinois for six days.

Three preteen girls were dead and three were missing. The profile was not coming together as they would’ve liked. They were almost positive the Unsubs were working as a pair. Reid thought the care taken with the bodies post-mortem showed an almost maternal concern. He was sure it was about more than washing away evidence.

Gideon was not ready to concede that point but it wasn’t a fight or a contest. They all worked together, debated, thought, and followed the evidence; that was how things got done. The plethora of evidence, as well as what wasn’t there, would eventually yield a profile. Jason really wanted to do that before he had to inform another family that they had to bury a child.

Tonight he and Hotch went to the Snyder family home. Kate Snyder was a single mother raising four kids on her own. Her husband Dan died three years ago of a brain aneurysm and now she would have to bury her youngest child, and only daughter, August. When they told her she was inconsolable, crumbling in Jason’s arms. He tried to comfort her, though he felt numb himself, until her oldest son was able to get her to the bedroom to lie down.

Paul Snyder was almost 20 years old, the man of the house, and he sat in the kitchen with the two profilers. They had a lot of questions about his baby sister and he answered them as best he could. He struggled with using the past tense to describe her and kept doing the sign of the cross for her soul. Jason was really quiet on the way back to the station.

“Are you alright?” Hotch asked, taking his eyes off the road for a moment to look at his old friend.

“Mmm,” He gave a small nod but continued to stare directly out the front window.

“Jason…”

“I'm fine.” He took a deep breath. “No, I'm not fine. I'm struggling with man’s ability to so easily destroy something as precious as another life. The life of a child…I'm fine.”

“It could be a long night.” Hotch replied.

“We’re used to those.”

The conversation ended there and the next few hours at the station were productive for the team. Gideon managed to stay in the game though he was screaming in agony on the inside. He excused himself a couple of times for air but no one followed him. They knew it was better to give him his space. He knew that Emily knew.

He tried to stay away from her but at the same time desperately needed her energy. She was the only place that was safe to fall; he couldn’t fall just yet. She would walk past him while he stood at the board studying the victims’ lives or sat at the table reading medical examiner’s reports. Her hand brushed his, or the nape of his neck, and he knew she felt him shiver.

Emily opened her eyes slowly, adjusting to the darkness of the hotel room. He was sitting in the chair just looking at her. There was no expression on his face but his body language was clear…Jason was steps from losing it. She got out of bed and walked over to the chair where he sat.

“Katya…”

“Shh,” She put her finger on his lips for just a moment. Then she stood him up. There didn’t need to be words; there job required too much talking anyway. She unbuttoned his dress shirt, dropping it in the empty chair behind him. The Hanes tee shirt came off next.

Then he slipped out of his shoes while Emily worked on the black slacks and the blue boxer shorts. Jason was naked except for a pair of black socks that she did not touch. Emily led him over to the bed, pulling him between the warm sheets with her. She slipped out of her tee shirt and shorts and wrapped her naked body around his. Jason exhaled, his hand sliding up her back.

“Just hold onto me and don’t let go. I'm not letting go of you, Jason.”

“Promise me.” He replied in a raspy whisper.

“I promise.” Emily caressed his face.

Jason turned to look at her; she was so beautiful. He still couldn’t believe that she was there with him and it was where she wanted to be. He placed a soft kiss on her lips. He gave her one kiss, then another, and then his tongue caressed her lips. Emily’s tongue came out as well and she moaned as they shared a passionate, open-mouthed kiss.

She knew what he needed…he needed to fuck her. He needed to hold her down; maybe he needed to hurt her. Except he could never, ever hurt her. Emily could take everything Jason had to give and they both knew that.

“Tell me what you need.” She whispered, her tongue still playing across his lips.

“I don't know.” His voice sounded small, lost.

“Well I'm here, to listen or to just hold on. I'm not going anywhere.”

“I need you, Katya.” Jason tightened his grip on her.

“I'm here,” She kissed his face. “I'm here, my love.”

He exhaled, trying to let the chains fall from his body. It would be morning before he knew it and he would be right back in the thick of carnage and psychosis. Jason wished he could stay in the safety of this bed, in her arms, forever. He wished even more that he could just say that. Emily deserved to know just how he felt. Maybe she didn’t deserve the burden of him though.

“If I ran away to a deserted island made just for two, would you come with me?” He asked.

“Yes.”

“Don’t placate me, Katya, tell me the truth.”

“That is the absolute truth. You're not allowed to leave without me.”

“I fear your fair skin is too delicate for the harsh tropical sun.” Jason kissed her shoulder.

“Then we’ll go someplace cold where we wrap up in blankets by the fire for warmth. Say the word, and we’ll go. I'm sure we both have enough time saved up. It’s strange; you can have all this time while having practically none at all.”

“You won't grow tired of me?”

“A day will never come when you cease to fascinate me.” Emily replied. “Sleep, Jason Gideon. We have another long day tomorrow but tonight I want you to sleep.”

She changed position on the bed, her back on the mattress, and pulled him to her breast. Jason exhaled and placed soft kisses on her skin.

“I…yes, Katya.”

“Shh, sleep. I mean it; don’t make me get rough with you.”

“There's a possibility of my liking that too much.”

He actually laughed. It was a little laugh, but Emily knew him well and it was genuine. She smiled, kissed his forehead, and stroked his hair. Jason was breathing slowly, in and out, matching the rhythm of her stroke. So many words were on the tip of his tongue but he bit them back.

He didn’t want to talk right now; he wanted to rest. The demons were close and her arms around him were like a shield from their flesh-ripping talons. In the morning he might have enough strength to take her, make her his. Jason had a feeling that even if he didn’t, he would do it anyway. He didn’t deserve her but held on for dear life anyway.

***

  



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